I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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