this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
