hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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