My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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