One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
