I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
