question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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