Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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