Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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