how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
