I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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