No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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