I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
