i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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