New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
