chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
