LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
