a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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