I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
