I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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