Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize