Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
