She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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