is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I need moral support for this bender
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
