I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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