At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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