I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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