a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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