Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
