marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
