the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
