I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
