how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
