I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
