Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
