I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
