Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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