I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize