Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
