we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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