you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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