The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
