Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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