I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
