just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
