So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
