I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
