my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
