talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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