I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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