i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
