If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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