Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
