Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
