She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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