i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
