Me. At least after what I've been through.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
