Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
