Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
